Winter Spider Diary

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So last November, I found dozens of tiny baby orbweavers in my bathroom. They were probably the offspring of the big grey cross spider who lived just outside the window, feeding on insects attracted to the building lights.

It was bad timing. Grey cross spiders do most of their courting and mating in the fall. The spiders guard their egg sacs into the winter, until they die. In spring, the babies emerge and go their separate ways. Most will die soon after; a lucky few will survive to continue the cycle. I don’t know why this batch hatched.

I painstakingly evicted at least a dozen, but the next day they were back. I decided to let nature take its course. Over the next few weeks, they gradually disappeared, to starvation or cannibalism or other insect predators. Then, one day, I saw one I’d missed. She had woven the tiniest of webs in the basil plant on the kitchen windowsill. All her siblings had died, but somehow she had made her way to this small oasis.

It was one thing to let the spiders starve to death when they were just black specks on the bathroom ceiling, but I felt a vague sense of responsibility to this lone survivor, and decided to keep her alive as long as I could.

Continue reading Winter Spider Diary

Journal: Tuesday, Dec. 4, 2012

1 p. m., downtown Tim Hortons

Drizzly with a high in the teens(!). Picked this day to take the bike, without a jacket or umbrella of course…I will be absolutely soaked. Ah well…

Nervous because I went back for a follow-up dentist appointment and they think the tooth has a fracture and that’s what’s irritating the bone and the (periodont?). So sending me to Grad Endo to see what can be done. I really can’t afford a root canal. Will probably end up having the damn thing extracted. Then getting a night guard!

[

] Think de Beauvoir and Sartre. Probably why I will end up as a lone cat lady!

Budget process, too. Fills me with despair, a kind of visceral fear that I’m not sure my fellow wonks “get”. I suppose they rely on fewer public services. Transit mostly.

Also because, I think, of the extra $[    ] last month, they say my OW is temporarily cut off. (For how long? How do I get on Trillium? How much do my drugs cost out of pocket? Too many unanswered questions.) To finally get a chunk of change that could substantially improve my life — and then to have to spend it on dental work — it’s right out of a Yiddish curse. No wonder I grind my teeth.